Post Author: Elisa Leal, Psy.D.

October 25-31 is Ace Week 2020! Formerly known as Asexuality Awareness week, Ace Week began in 2010 as a way to educate people about asexuality and for asexual people to connect with one another!

What is asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes people who experience little or no sexual attraction to others. It is often conceptualized as a spectrum which incorporates other sexual identities, such as demisexuality (sexual attraction occurs secondary to a strong emotional connection) and gray-sexuality (sexual attraction only in certain contexts or to certain individuals). The word “asexual” is often shortened to “ace,” and some asexual people refer to themselves as “aces.” The word “allosexual” is a catch-all term used to describe people who do not identify on the asexual spectrum. Asexuality is different from celibacy, in that celibacy is a choice that is made about sexual behaviors, whereas asexuality is an orientation that describes lack of sexual attraction.

A common misconception is that all asexual people are sex- or touch-averse. Asexuality is not the same thing as lack of a sexual drive, and some asexual people do find sexual activities with others to be enjoyable. While a decrease in sexual interest can be an indicator for some allosexual people that they are not feeling well, asexuality is a non-pathologized orientation similar to any other sexual orientation.

Asexual people might still experience romantic attraction, but there are some asexual people who identify as aromantic as well. Asexual people are able to have fulfilling and emotionally intimate relationships with both asexual and allosexual people. Like any other relationship, it comes down to communication, mutual respect, and desire for connection to your partner.

Due to social expectations that “everyone” develops sexual attraction as they go through puberty into adulthood, many asexual people express feeling “left out” or “broken.” It is a common experience for asexual people to feel relief when they learn that there are other people who do not experience sexual attraction, too. As asexuality becomes more visible through online communities and education, more and more people are finding that they may be somewhere on the asexual spectrum.